We Feel!

      When an eclectic wave of emotions hits you hard. You feel the sadness because you lost someone special and you refuse to let go, perhaps the memory could keep that dear one alive. You feel the frustration when things are not working out the way you expect them to. You feel the pain over the betrayal of a close one you thought you could trust for a lifetime. But then you recall that letting go, or trying to, is the only way to keep going on. Life never waits for those who reminisce or ponder over a lost era of time, it appreciates the ones who relish the present moment. You feel helpless when you are stuck in a situation and you fail to gain an ounce of control. You feel the anger when you cannot make yourself stronger, and when you fail to push yourself to the limits you know you can cross with the will and abilities you know are buried deep inside. You feel the disappointment when the person you  love fails to confess those three little words that could change your life. 

      But that's not just it, life is all about yin and yang, and it revolves around balance. You feel the happiness of  being where you are today, the happiness of surviving life. You feel the joy when you make someone  happy, and when you make an elderly/grandparent smile. That simple smile that makes you feel you just made their day, makes you feel like you are someone special. You feel ecstatic when you listen to that song that could make the world a brighter place in no time. You feel the success when you accomplish what was thought to be impossible. That special moment that could get you through tough times by simply remembering it, so you say to yourself:" I did that, I can do much more". You are at peace because you are satisfied with your soul and with who you are today. At the present moment, you cherish the individual carved by the hardships of time. 

      You have to keep in mind that feelings are inevitable. We are sentient beings and we know that :“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart”― Helen Keller. Because when you feel, you live, and when you live you honor the life given to you, the same life that could disappear at any moment without a single warning! Be resilient, be who you are, and “Never apologize for showing your feelings. When you do, you are apologizing for the truth.” ― José N. Harris, MI VIDA: A Story of Faith, Hope and Love 

The Ghosts of Yesterday

       I woke up in the middle of the night- which is a first I might add- to the sound of my favorite song "A Thousand Years". At first my vision was quite blurry, then I got a clear look at my surroundings, and I was blown away by what I saw!

       Right in front of me, on the wall facing the right side of my bed, " I LOVE YOU" was scribbled there! Just like that, plain and clear. I didn't need to over think, I knew exactly who did it! I lifted the covers, got out of my bed, and followed the trail of papers on the ground. It was extremely romantic and mysterious, and I love both! He also had sweet phrases written on each piece of paper! And each took me back in time, each revived a memory of our relationship!

      "I will always pick you up when you fall." My heart skipped a beat, because that was the first time we actually met. It was very embarrassing! I was jogging in the park as usual, it is a daily ritual for me, and I tripped over something my eyes missed. I was too caught up in the music to notice the toy someone must have dropped in the middle of the track. I ended up with bloody hands and knees, and I marked him with my blood when he gave me a hand! We headed to his apartment because he insisted on fixing me up.

      "You will have loads of frozen yogurt anytime." I loved that one, because I'm addicted to frozen yogurt. I actually had two large cups when we went to Pinkberry!

      "Never be ashamed of showing your feelings." It took me back to the gloomy day when my grandma passed away, and I was trying my best not to cry. Well, I couldn't hold it for a long time, and I ended up crying hard and ruining his shirt.

      And the trail continued all the way to the back door, and there was the last note. It was the best!

"I NEED to wake to your face everyday, and I WANT to be there for you forever." Did I read that right? And does it mean what I think it does?!

     I opened the back door, and there he was, kneeling in the middle of my yard, in his pj's, with a tiny box in one hand. It was perfect! Being the patient girl I am, I squealed a YES and sprinted to his opened arms, without breaking eye contact. His deep blue eyes were his best feature, I always got lost in them trying to count the hypnotizing grey flecks.

     Just before he could engulf me in his warm hug, he started fading, as if a black hole was sucking him, taking him away from me...It was the moment I really woke up, and my heart was beating wildly as I glanced at the blank wall. My vision was blurry for the second time this night, and not because I didn't wake up fully. Tears flooded my eyes, and I was sure mascara was all over my face. Not like I care! I sipped whiskey straight from the bottle as I changed the song on my phone to "Whiskey Lullaby" instead of "A Thousand Years". How perfect?! My life was nothing near that song or the dream I just had! I actually live in my lonely apartment that was consumed by darkness at the moment. I have no family left, I have nothing. Death claimed all my loved ones. And exactly a year ago, it took the love of  my life, the only one that gave my life a meaning. I reached for the mini fridge next to my bed, perhaps a third bottle can take the pain away, not the memories, not my love for him that I will always carry in my heart... just the pain.

      Apparently, if someone's blog isn't simple with numerous photos, it won't be important. All I see is simple blogs with many photos and few captions and few of the movies and books blogs did succeed at raising my interest. So I am open for your suggestions. I need blogs that are fun to read and with good content. Any ideas? Anyone?

Love?

     All those scenarios playing in my head, driving me crazy. My mind drifts away to where my heart probably lies. What is he doing? Is he thinking about me? I start imagining things that could be possible if we were close as couples should be. Sometimes throughout the day, when random things take place, I start having those scenarios and conversations in my head, like I'm actually talking to him and he is actually replying. I blame myself and say:" girl u don't know him the way you should and he doesn't too". Then why do I feel the way I do?! I'm not even sure if this is love or a random crush that lasts for a really long time.

      And there lies the problem. I'm afraid that I won't be able to know true love. Like how am I supposed to tell if it is true love knocking my door and not just a crush that would fade with time??? I'm afraid that someday love would pass me by without even knowing. I mean I don't want the moon, even though its light is beautiful, and even though it reflects the Sun's light, but it never is the Sun. And I want the Sun, as simple and as hard as that may sound.

      Afraid? Yes I am. But I'll wait for my Sun even if the eclipse lasts for years. Love is always there, we just have to take the journey to find it, because everyone wants to be blinded by the real light on a beautiful sunny day. Everyone needs LOVE!

ILLusion

      So, I was watching the awesome movie " Now You See Me " the other day and the concept of illusion is amazing! Create a distraction, people's attention is caught, and they loose their focus on the real deal. Most of the times, the real trick, the real thing is right in front of you. Well, somehow that's life. You see, most of the times, we focus on the things we think are important or the things that we want them to be important, all the while the things we need the most are always there, however we got distracted by a "fake" belief. Let's say we seek love, we are trying to find our soul mates, so we start looking around, going into relationships, going out of relationships, and questioning our feelings every single step of the way, but we fail to notice that true love is always there. True love exists in our mothers' eyes, in our dads' proud look, in our siblings' pranks, and in our daily lives. It is there, we only have to look for it in the right place. Needless to say, that looking for your other half is as well important, and the distraction is actually the most important thing for a magic trick to succeed, for when you find true love you appreciate the love that you have; and when you figure out the distraction, you unveil the main magic trick.

      At other times, and I quote, "the closer you look, the less you see". So, you're trying to win the heart of a man/women, and you're so focused on doing so that you neglect looking away to where the best package is. At those times, you have to let go and loose your focus in order to see what you're supposed to see, and get to where you are supposed to go. Sometimes, we have to take a step back, and take a wider look at things.

     This doesn't apply for love only, it applies for everything in life. For instance, a job, money, your major, and your choices.

      I might have elaborated on the matter more than I should, or thought deep about a movie more than I should. So, in short, to reveal the trick and figure the magic trick, we have to follow the right thread, we have to know when to look at the distraction and when to focus at the true things, we have to simply know where to look and which thread to follow. However, few possess the ability to do so while still managing to enjoy the magic show! Those are the people who claim the best of life!